


Whiskey Lullaby

by Lilocharms



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Poisoning, Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Based off a Brad Paisley song, Character name spelled viktor, Cheating, Depression, Guilt, Heavy Angst, It is as sad as the tags make out it to be, M/M, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omega Verse, Suicide, This fic is will make you cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 07:12:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13584957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilocharms/pseuds/Lilocharms
Summary: Yuuri was sick and tired of Viktor's bullshit, and finally kicked him out. What happens next is the downward spiral of depression and alcohol.





	1. The fight

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies,
> 
> How are you lovelies doing this cold Feb day? Hope all is well. This fic is inspired by the country song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley. It popped up in my recommended list on YouTube like 2 weeks ago while I was cooking and just letting it play through. Listened to it after that, came up with this fic idea, but couldn't quite think of a pairing who this would work with. Then finally came to this conclusion and that's how this fic was born. It is hella depressing and I myself cried while writing and editing it. Hope you guys enjoy my depressing fic!!
> 
> Plz give it a chance!

“NO! I can’t take this anymore! I won’t take this anymore!”

 

Viktor didn’t know what to say. Yuuri had been pissed at him for coming home late once again smelling like a different omega. He didn’t blame the omega, he really didn’t. He really loved his mate he really did, but when he started drinking he just couldn’t stop. “I want you out! NOW!”

 

Looking up from his place on sofa in their living room, Viktor stared at Yuuri in disbelief. “WHAT?!” standing up from his seat, he crossed the room and grabbed Yuuri by the arms. “Don’t you think you’re being a little too hasty with this decision?”

 

Yuuri struggles out of Viktor’s grasp, rubbing his arms with his hands Yuuri glares at his alpha. This is the man who was supposed to love him, till death do they part, but how could he possibly do that when the man himself didn’t seem to want that anymore at all. “No, this isn’t just a sudden decision Viktor. This has been a long time coming, I want you out in the next hour. I already called Chris to come get you. You can crash at his place he said.”

 

All Viktor can see is red, he lunges to grab Yuuri, only to miss him by a fraction of an inch as Yuuri darts for the spare room closest to him. Slamming and locking the door in place, there is a heavy bang against the door. Yelping in fright, Yuuri jumps away from the door, pushing his over-grown bangs out of his eyes. Tears well up in Yuuri’s eyes, he moves away from the door and moves to the full-sized bed in the corner of the guest room, curling into a ball on the bed, dissolving into a heap of sobs. “Please Vitya, just go get your things and wait for Chris!” Yuuri yells through the door, but he doubted the enraged alpha heard him over all the banging he was doing.

 

“Open this door right now Yuuri!”

 

“NO! Get your things and get out!”

 

“Viktor?”

 

Yuuri’s head snaps up from its place in his ball. He knows that voice anywhere. **_Thank god, he’s made it just in time._** Yuuri moves to the door now that the banging had stopped, Viktor’s attention taken off him and onto the alpha who had their spare key. “Chris? What do you want?” Yuuri listens to the conversation on the other side of the door.

 

“I’m here to help you pack and move some things for the time being. Come on let’s get you out of here before the neighbors start wondering what all the racket is about.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere! This is my house and he is my omega! I refuse to leave MY house!”

 

“Viktor you have to calm down and see to reason. Have a good smell of the house. All I can smell, even from outside, is how scared Yuuri is right now. You’re the cause of that Victor.” Chris was trying to talk Viktor down for him, it sounded like it was working for the most part. Yuuri sinks down to the floor in relief.

 

Everything goes quiet in the house. There is talking, but Yuuri can’t make out what is being said. After about 15 minutes there was a soft knock at the door causing Yuuri to jump. “Yuuri?” It was Chris on the other side of the door. Shifting from his slumped position on the floor. Chris must have heard his movements because he then called out to him. “Don’t open the door just yet. I calmed him down, and we’ve made some progress and have packed him his essentials. Do you mind us coming back in say a week to get more of his things? Or do you just need time to let things calm down?”

 

Chris was a really good friend for doing this for him, but he really didn’t want to talk about Viktor coming back there any time soon. “Umm…” Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, wiping the tears from his face. “Why don’t you call me in a week instead? I don’t think I can make any kind of commitment about this right now.”

 

Yuuri can hear the heavy sigh from the other side of the door. “Sure thing Yuuri. I’ll talk to you later to make sure you’re alright.”

 

With that Yuuri could hear Chris leave from the door. There was a few more minutes of shuffling beyond the door, then the slamming of the front door. A minute later, Yuuri’s phone chimed in his sweatpants pocket. Pulling it out with caution, Yuuri finds a message from Chris ** _. “We’ve left. I made Viktor leave his keys to the house on the kitchen counter. I’ll keep an eye on him. Take care.”_**

 

With a sigh of relief, Yuuri unlocks the door to the guest bedroom and makes his way to the kitchen. There sat the keys with a note under them. With shaking hands Yuuri opens the note. Viktor’s wedding ring falls out of the folded papers. Gasping as it falls onto the counter, Yuuri slaps his hand over it so it wouldn’t roll off. Looking to the letter, he could tell it was Viktor’s handwriting, but it wasn’t his usual beautiful cursive, it was written in print, and kind of sloppy to say the less.

 

**_“My Yuuri,_ **

****

**_I know I have done you wrong, and for this I am deeply sorry. I did not mean for everything to end up like this at all. I wish we could work this out…but I know that is not happening any time soon, if ever. I do love you and will love you until the day I die. I wish you all the happiness in the world, even if that happiness is not with me._ **

****

**_Love, Viktor “_ **

 

For the second time that night, Yuuri slumps to the floor. He couldn’t deal with this. He just wasn’t meant to go through all of this. Placing the letter down on the floor next to him, Yuuri calls the only person who could be there for him and not judge him.

 

“Hello? Yuuri?”

 

Gasping and sobbing into the phone, Yuuri tries his best to speak clearly enough to be understood. “P-Phichit.”

 

“Yuuri! What happened? Do you need help?!” Phichit is brought to alarm from his best friends broken voice.

 

“N-no, please come.”

 

“Are you at home?”

 

“Y-yes.”

 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, just leave the door unlocked.”

 

* * *

 

 

Phichit came into the house to find Yuuri sitting on the couch alone in the dark. The beta could smell the hurt and fear in the house that was still lingering. It was now 3:30am, and he knew that Yuuri must be exhausted.

 

Closing the door lightly behind him as to not scare the distraught omega, Phichit sits down next to his friend. Yuuri automatically wraps his arms around his friend’s chest. Shocked, Phichit paused for a second and then wraps Yuuri in his arms as he lets the omega cry into his chest.

 

Once Yuuri had calmed down enough to talk, Phichit pulls back from Yuuri despite Yuuri’s best efforts to stay in his arms for comfort. Hunching to look Yuuri in the eyes wasn’t easy as he kept looking down or away from him. Cupping his face in his hands, Phichit forces Yuuri to look at him. “Tell me everything that happened.”

 

Nodding, Yuuri takes a deep breath and begins to tell his friend everything that happened that night. Everything from the drinking, the other omegan scents on Viktor that he didn’t know, the coming home late at night with no other excuse…every little seedy detail. Everything that he had been holding back from his friends and family, he finally spilled to Phichit in the early morning hours. They stayed wrapped in each other arms on the sofa till well after the sun rose.

 

Phichit let Yuuri cry and cry and sob and tell him his story. He never could have guessed this was happening. They always looked so happy together, granted he knew no relationship was perfect, but they always seemed to make things work out. He knew Viktor would drink from time to time, but he never knew he had a problem with it. He always knew Yuuri was holding something back from him, he just never knew it would be something this big.

 

“Yuuri,” Phichit sighs after a small loll in Yuuri’s story, assuming he was finished talking for now. “Why didn’t you tell us anything? You have friends and family could you could have talked to, we could have helped you before it came to this.”

 

Yuuri pulls back from the beta with a glare. “And have you guys do what? Take his side? Take pity on the poor little omega who can’t keep his alphas attention long enough to breed him properly? No, it’s better this way. I don’t have to deal with it anymore now.”

 

“Yuuri you say that, but I know you still love him.” Yuuri shakes his head furiously. “No, Yuuri you do. I know you do, and Chris knows you do too. That’s why he said what he said.”

 

“C-can we not talk about him anymore? I kinda just want to go to sleep for a year at least.”

 

Yuuri indeed looked exhausted and that he could sleep for at least a year. The beta nods his head in agreement with Yuuri. Getting up, Phichit turn towards the door. Only to be stopped by a hand on his wrist. “Please stay with me?”

 

“Ok, but in the spare bedroom. I don’t feel comfortable laying in your bed with his scent there.” Phichit said with clear discomfort at the idea of sleeping in Viktor’s spot in Yuuri’s bed.

 

Yuuri nods his head and gets up from the sofa. Walking to the second guest bedroom that was originally going to be a nursery, Yuuri toes off his shoes and climbs into the bed in a spot closest to the wall. Phichit does the same and climbs into bed beside the omega. “Ok, now time to get some sleep. You’ve had a long night.” Wrapping an arm around his friend to show that he had his support.

 

Phichit didn’t have to tell Yuuri twice. The second Yuuri was close to his friend and wrapped an arm around him for comfort his eyes fluttered closed and only seconds later was he asleep. Exhausted and not knowing what was going to happen from then on, he decided to let things fall where they may and try to take it a day at a time.

 

Looking over at the omega, Phichit uses the pad of his thumb to wipe away the stray tear that rolled down Yuuri’s face. Sighing as he got as comfortable as possible, turning off the side table lamp, he closes his own eyes and lets slumber take him over. Wondering where all of this would lead.


	2. Viktor's suffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor's pov

He had been kicked out of his own house by his mate… Viktor didn’t know what to do with himself. He was crashing in Chris’s apartment in the spare bedroom for the time being, but really, how long could two alphas stay in the same apartment together without killing each other, regardless of how close they were? Viktor sure as hell didn’t know.

 

It was now four month since the night Yuuri had kicked him out. He had tried calling the omega, only to have it go to voicemail. That had about lasted two months, and now the only phone that would ring out was the house phone. The omegas cell phone no longer in service, so he must have changed his number. Chris probably had it, but fat chance of the other alpha giving it up.

 

Chris now had an omega, and while Chris wasn’t rubbing it in his face, it felt that way. Viktor was still going to work, not that he could stop going considering that he and Chris worked at the same advertisement firm and he was dragged to work each day. He really did have to find his own place. Away from Chris, away from the city, away from the memory of his dear Yuuri.

 

He still desperately loved the man and wanted him back. He missed him like he never missed anyone before in his life. So here he sat, in his room at Chris’s place. Sitting on his bed with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and not nearly drunk enough to forget about the man who he loved but couldn’t be with. He could always fuck his way to forgetting the omega, but that didn’t work out quite so well the last time he tried. It left him feeling disgusting.

 

He didn’t know what to do with himself. He fucked up, he knew it. He wanted to try and make up for it, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen either. A knock on his door, drew him out of his head. “Yeah?” He calls out.

 

Chris pops his head in the room, “Hey, I need to talk to you.”

 

The nervous look on Chris’s face told him everything he needed to know. “Sure, have a seat.” Shifting on the bed to make room for him at the edge. Holding the bottle out in offering. “You want some?”

 

Chris sighs, “Yeah, I think I might need it.” Taking the bottle from Viktor, he takes a deep swig and passes the bottle back and pulls a face as he swallows it down.   

 

Chuckling at his friend’s face, Viktor reaches over and pats him heavily on the back. Chris coughs and holds a hand up. Giving Chris a second to catch his breath, Viktor waits for Chris to speak his mind.

 

Taking a deep breath, Chris tries to gather his thoughts. “Ok, here’s the deal. Lucas is going into heat in a few weeks and he wants me to spend it with him…here. Soo I was wondering…”

 

Holding up a hand, Viktor stops Chris mid-sentence. “You want me out, so your mate can be comfortable and not worry about another alpha in the house.” It wasn’t said as a question, but as a statement. Viktor knew he’d spent too much time here. It was time for him to go and be on his own.

 

Chris nods solemnly. “Yeah, I don’t want to put you out, but I do want to spend his heat with him, and I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable.”

 

“I understand completely. You’ve helped me this whole time, you’re a really good friend Christophe, I mean it.” Viktor gets up and draws the other man into a hug. “Thanks for everything.”

 

Returning the hug, Chris pats Viktor’s back. “It was no problem, really.” Pulling back from Viktor, Chris looks into his eyes. “If you need anything or just need to talk, just call me.”

 

“Hey this isn’t goodbye, you’re stuck with me. Plus we work together remember?”

 

Chris chuckles, “Yeah, how could I forget that.” With that out of the way, the alphas moved on to happier topics and spent the night drinking. Viktor drank the Swede under the table. Helping him back to his bed, Viktor then lay in bed as he did most night when sleep alluded him; he thought of Yuuri. Turning on his side, Viktor tried his best to get some sleep, but he knew this was going to be a long night. Taking out his phone, he searched apartment listings with what he wanted in a place of his own. 

 

* * *

 

 

Viktor finds a place suitable to his needs a little out of the city, he can still get to work because of his car, when he went to work, but he feels lonelier than he has ever before in his life. He’s spent the last four months in his new apartment, and still hasn’t gotten more than the basic furniture in his two-bedroom apartment.

 

 He had his couch and a coffee table, but that only served as a dining table, so he could eat and watch tv when he wasn’t working. His kitchen had the bare necessities, but he barely cooked for himself. His countertops were littered with take-out menus, receipts and empty bottles. The microwave was the only appliance that was used in his apartment besides the blender, but that was only used to make blended drinks as it was.

 

Viktor sat in the spare room, which he had converted to be used as his home office, but what it ended up being was more like his own personal bar. The filing cabinet had bottle on top and inside, there was a mini-fridge in the corner near his computer desk, so he didn’t have to roll far to mix a drink for himself. Up against the far wall was a twin-sized bed. The alpha spent more nights in that bed than he did in his Queen-sized bed in his room. The only time the man ever slept really was when he passed out in a drunken stupor.

 

The alpha was a mess without Yuuri in his life and he knew it. Viktor tried calling every number he knew the omega to have and even called Phichit to try to convince the beta to give him the omegas new number. All attempts were to no avail. So Viktor did the one thing he was good at these days, try to drink Yuuri’s memory away.

 

Viktor was lost at the bottom of a whiskey bottle, he had been for a while. He honestly didn’t know how to get out of the bottle and it was killing him slowly. Being alone without his Yuuri was killing him slowly. He hasn’t seen his mate in eight months and it was getting to him. Was it getting to Yuuri too?

 

Yuuri must have gone through 2 heats already. Did he spend it by himself? Or did he have someone to spend it with? Somehow that just made it even worse thinking that way. He couldn’t handle thinking of Yuuri spreading his legs for some other alpha, or even a beta. He couldn’t deal with it.

 

A horrible thought went through his head. Was he with Phichit? Is that why the beta didn’t want him to have Yuuri’s number? Is he in Viktor’s spot in their bed? Putting his scent on the sheets instead of Viktor? Did he spend Yuuri’s heat with him?

 

His line of thinking was everywhere. He couldn’t take it, so he drank some more. Everyone was keeping his Yuuri away from him, in his mind at least. All he wanted was for his Yuuri to come back to him. He had given him enough time and space, right?

 

Bringing the bottle to his lips, to have nothing come out. Viktor pulls back, and death glares the bottle. Dammit! Who was the bottle to keep him from drinking Yuuri away? Getting up he staggers to the filing cabinet, throwing the offending bottle across the room, feeling satisfied with the crash of glass hitting the wall. He then opens the top drawer and moves around the papers, only to find just that, nothing but papers. “Oh, yeah.” He says to himself in disappointment, he forgot the bottle he was just drinking out of was the bottle from that drawer.

 

Slamming the offending drawer shut, he opens the next drawer, he finds a half full bottle of Jim Beam. This was not going to be anywhere near enough to last him the night. Pulling it out and searching the other drawers, he finds a fifth of Smirnoff, and another fifth of Jack Daniels. That was all that was left in his office. Sighing to himself that was going to have to do for tonight.

 

Stumbling to the twin-bed, he plops down on it and opens the bottle of Jim. Downing the rest of the bottle, he drops it to the floor. Flopping back against the pillow of the bed, Viktor winces as he is meet with something hard under the pillow. Reaching under it, his fingers meet with cold metal. Grasping it he pulls it out. Sighing to himself as he stares at the handgun in his hand.

 

He had originally bought when Yuuri had decided to work from home with Phichit in his photography company. He hadn’t wanted Yuuri home alone all day with no protection. **_Funny how things work out._** He thinks to himself. The Smith and Wesson 9mm sat heavy in his hand. The black cold metal and bottle of Jack Daniels in his other hand, his only friends in the world.

 

His pain and suffering had lasted long enough he decided. Getting up from the bed with the bottle and gun. Viktor makes his way over to his desk. Placing both objects down, he grabs for a pen and a paper from his printer on the floor. Jotting a quick note down, Viktor folds it and picks it up along with the bottle and gun.

 

Viktor places the note on the pillow and searches for his phone. Patting himself down, he finds the device in his back pocket. Sitting back down on the bed, Viktor takes a big swig from the bottle. Tears form in the alphas eyes. He never could have seen this coming, losing his Yuuri, pretty much losing his job, he couldn’t honestly remember the last time he’d actually been to the office… and all because he’d fucked up.

 

He beat himself up enough over it already. It was time to end it all. Placing a call to the only person in his life who would actually care, he called Chris, but the blonde alpha didn’t pick up the phone. **_Pfft, it figured_** …no one wanted to deal with an alpha who couldn’t handle their shit. The phone beeped in his ear, **_Guess I’ll leave a message_**.

 

“Hey,” Viktor clears his throat as best he can. He had been drinking for almost a week straight now as it was. “I just wanted to call to say thank you for everything. You’ve been a really good friend Chris, I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better friend.” Viktor breaks off with a sob. Cursing himself, as he tries to hide the sobs in his voice. “I just wanted to say thank you and well…I guess this is goodbye. Thanks Chris.”

 

Ending the call Viktor breaks into a fit of sobs, dropping his phone to the floor, he just couldn’t deal anymore. Viktor laid back down on the bed with the bottle and gun in his hands. Viktor sobs heavily into the pillow, burying his face into it. Shoulders shaking heavily, Viktor raises the hand with the gun in it. His hand shaking horribly, placing the gun to his temple.

 

Viktor cries out, as he places his finger to the trigger. Wailing in his agony, pain and suffering, Viktor doesn’t hear his phone ringing on the floor next to the bed. Viktor pulls the trigger without even know someone had called him. 

 

His office phone rings out next. The answering machine picks up, Chris’s voice rings out through the small space. “Viktor? Viktor! Pick up the damn phone! Please whatever you don’t do anything stupid, please! I just called Yuuri and we’re on our way. Just please hold out till we get there!” The call ends. The blonde alphas pleas falling on deaf ears.


	3. Yuuri's suffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's pov

Yuuri could still see Viktor in his mind’s eye from that night. The alpha laying on the bed, with the gun he had bought for him in one hand and a half empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s in the other. The man lay dead with his face in the pillow, a bullet in his head and a note on the pillow next to him with blood spatter on it and the wall behind him.

 

Chris had to restrain him from rushing over to Viktor, only to sink down to the floor with the wailing sobbing omega in his arms. “Shit!” Chris had said with angry tears in his eyes as he struggled to keep a hold of Yuuri and call for help at the same time.

 

The police arrived not long after with paramedics. Viktor Nikiforov was pronounced dead at the scene. The police went through the normal procedure, taping off the bedroom as well as the door to the apartment barring people from coming in.

 

Yuuri just couldn’t handle the scene and was moved from the apartment to be seated in the back of Chris’s car since it was parked the closest. An officer walks up to Chris and Yuuri as Chris was trying to calm him down. “Excuse me, but are you Yuuri Katsuki- Nikiforov?”

 

“Yes, he is.” Chris steps in front of Yuuri, and answers for him seeing as the omega couldn’t talk at the moment, too in shock to do so.

 

“We noticed there was a lack of his belongings in the apartment, even though he is his legal mate and husband. Is there a reason why that is?”

 

Chris bristles at the question, looking to Yuuri who wails from his place at the open back door of his car. Looking back towards the officer, he nods his head and answers. “Yes, they split over differences about eight months ago. Viktor was staying with me until four months ago, but then moved out because my omega wasn’t comfortable with another alpha in the house. What exactly does this have to do with anything?”

 

Clearing his throat, the officer pulls out a clear evidence bag that contains the blood-stained note that was on the pillow next to Viktor. “Well, it’s about this note that was found next to him.” Holding the bag out to Chris, he takes it and reads the note, now that it was unfolded.

 

Chris eyes widens, cursing under his breath, he then looks at Yuuri. Feeling the eyes of the two men on him, Yuuri looks up through teary eyes. “What? W-what does it s-say?” He asks in a shaky voice.

 

“Umm…I don’t think you should read it.” Chris says looking back down at the note with tears in his eyes.

 

“WHAT?! He’s already dead, he can’t possibly hurt me more than he already has! Give it to me!” Yuuri quickly stands and snatches the evidence bag out of Chris’s hands. Walking a few steps away from the pair he looks down at the page and crumple to the ground in a fit of sobs.

 

Rushing over to Yuuri, Chris scoops Yuuri off the ground and carries him bridal style back to his car. “Shit, I told you, you shouldn’t read it.” Yuuri doesn’t hear him or register him picking him up. All Yuuri can see is that letter and the obvious tear stains on the lettering.

 

**_“I finally found a way to drink away his memory and get him off my mind. But please, tell him I loved him till the end.”_ **

 

Those were his last and final words and they would stick with Yuuri until the day he dies.

 

* * *

 

 

That was almost five years ago, and things were still looking pretty shit for Yuuri. They had buried Viktor in a cemetery close by, just outside the city limits so Yuuri could visit him whenever he wants and just talk to him. Chris helped Yuuri pay for a plot under an old willow tree there. It was beautiful, Viktor would have loved it.

 

So that’s where he spent most of his free time, sitting underneath the tree, talking to his late husband and drinking away the pain. Most times either Chris or Phichit had to come and pick him up because of how much he drank at the grave site.

 

Both the alpha and beta knew the omega wasn’t coping with his grief whatsoever. Neither of them had ever seen Yuuri this bad before. Even after Yuuri kicked Viktor out the house, he had been upset and depressed sure…but never like this.

 

Not long after Viktor’s death did the rumors start to fly around about the alpha who had lost his mind after his bonded omega kicked him out and then killed himself in a drunken stupor. And like most rumors, while they did hold a drop of truth, it was mostly exaggerated lies. Chris and Phichit tried to keep them away from Yuuri as much as possible, but that only lasted but so long before they reached the omegas ears and it affected him deeply. That’s when Yuuri started to drink heavily, that’s when he started down the dangerous path that his mate had fallen down.   

 

No one knew just how much Yuuri blamed himself for Viktor’s suicide. Not even Chris and Phichit knew the severity of Yuuri’s depression and guilt. Phichit tried to get Yuuri some help, to get him sober enough to come back working with him full-time at his photography studio that they ended up opening together. However, all the help in the world couldn’t help if you aren’t willing to help yourself. Phichit found this out the hard way.

 

Finding Yuuri one day, passed out in a pool of his own vomit and a dangerously low temperature. Phichit had rushed him to the hospital and they forced him through a rehab program. Yuuri only went to 4 meetings after he was released from the hospital for alcohol poisoning. He knew he was doing a lot of damage to his body, but Yuuri just didn’t seem to care anymore for his own well-being. He lived off whiskey and suppressants. Refusing to go into any kind of heat without his alpha.     

 

He still loved the man despite his cheating and drinking, even if he couldn’t deal with the crappy hand of cards life had dealt him. He wanted his Viktor back, the Viktor who had wined and dined him when they were courting. The Viktor who only had eyes for Yuuri and Yuuri alone. The loving caring alpha who joked about wanting a family so big, he could make his own pack into a winning NFL football team.

 

He missed his laugh, he missed his smile. The smile that when he genuinely smiled looked like a heart, the smile that won _his_ own heart over. He just missed the man in general.

 

Yuuri lay in bed one late night, bottle of Jim Beam in one hand and in other was an old photo of Viktor and him. In the picture they were all smiles, holding each other’s hands, Viktor had Yuuri’s hand pressed to his lips. Yuuri had been in mid-giggle when Phichit had taken the photo of them. Many years ago when they were still courting, dressed in simple jeans, Yuuri in a black and white striped ¾ sleeve shirt and Viktor in a light blue button-down shirt that was loosely tucked into his jeans. They all had taken a trip to the park and were having lunch at the lake that day. It had been beautiful late spring day, and they were happy back then.

 

Staring at the picture, tears well up in Yuuri’s eyes. He missed his alpha so much. No one understood him now that he was gone from his life for good. He just wanted to see those big crystal like blue eyes. The eyes that looked like they held the whole sky or ocean in them. The eyes that he had fallen for at first sight of them. He needed to see them again, not just in his dreams or in pictures. They never could quite capture the glimmer in his eyes.

 

Though the only time he could see his precious Viktor was when he was asleep, or when Yuuri was too drunk and he swore he saw his Viktor again. Closing his eyes, Yuuri tried to see Viktor as he was when he was happy and playful, or even when he was feeling frisky. He had loved his alphas touch.

 

Viktor had a way to be rough to a certain degree, but he was always gentle with him when he needed to be. The way his hands and tongue worked together to break the omega down and then build him back up again, that’s what he missed the most.

 

Yuuri was drawn out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing next to him. His eyes widen as he sees the name on the display. With a broken sob Yuuri picks up the phone. “V-Viktor?”

 

“No, Yuuri its me, Phichit.” The beta answers with a soft patient voice.

 

Blinking through his drunken stupor, he pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at the name display once again. It was indeed Phichit. He was seeing things that he wanted to see once again ** _. I must be drunk again._** Yuuri thought to himself.

 

“-uri?” Comes a garbled voice from the phone in his hand.  

 

Sobbing lightly, Yuuri puts the phone up to his ear again. Yuuri sniffles again. “Yeah, I’m here Phichit.”

 

Yuuri hears the small sigh on the line. “How much have you had to drink today, Yuuri?”

 

Looking around his bedroom, there is empty, or partially drunk bottle all over the room, they littered every available surface. “Umm…” Holding his head he tries to think. He really couldn’t think how much he had to drink that day, or week. He knew he hadn’t left his bed much that week other than to get another drink or go to the bathroom to then start the process of getting hammer all over again.

 

Phichit sighs once again. “Yuuri, this really isn’t good for your health. You need to get something to eat, drink some water and probably a bath. When was the last time you did any of those things?”

 

Yuuri had to think real hard. How honestly couldn’t remember the last he ate, or the last time he drunk anything other than alcohol. He sure as hell couldn’t think of the last time he took a proper bath. Sniffing himself, Yuuri draws back, he was smelling a little on the ripe side.

 

“Yeah, I thought as much. Look I’m out of the city right now on a job, but I should be back in the area in about two hours. I’ll stop and get us some food, then we can just bum it and watch bad tv for the rest of the night. Sound good?”

 

He could tell his friend was really trying to help, it meant a lot to him. He always felt less confused, and calm around the beta. He guessed that was just how it was with beta’s, they could use their pheromones to calm down the other dynamics, they were really good to have around when you were feeling really down.

 

Nodding his head, only to remember that his friend couldn’t actually see him. “Yeah, sounds good to me. Thanks Phichit.”

 

“No problem at all, Yuuri. See you then.” Phichit says, then ending the call.

 

Sighing to himself, Yuuri tries to push himself up from the bed, only to flop back down. “Ouch!” Yuuri bangs his ankle on the bedside table as he flopped back down too fast, causing his legs to shoot forward from under him. Planting his feet wide enough, Yuuri tries once again to get up. Throwing his arms out to balance himself, Yuuri grabs the bottle off the bed. Drinking down the rest of the contents, Yuuri hobbles his way to the en suite bathroom.

 

Undressing and placing his glasses aside, Yuuri turns on the shower and waits for the shower to get to the right temperature. Stepping under the spray, the warm water felt good on his cold skin. He hadn’t noticed how cold he was until just then. As Yuuri scrubs down, Yuuri tries to get his bearings and figure out what day it was. Slightly remembering the date on his phone display, it finally hit Yuuri like a ton of bricks. It was the fifth anniversary of Viktor’s death.

 

The realization hits Yuuri so hard that he drops the loofah sponge and crumples to the floor of the shower. Wails of sorrow fill the air of the bathroom, Yuuri bangs his fist against the floor, cursing whatever gods there was out there for taking his mate away from. Yuuri stays like this for a few minutes, turning off the water, Yuuri struggles to stand.

 

Staggering his way out of the shower, Yuuri grabs his towel and wraps it around himself. He catches a glimpse of himself in the full mirror on the back of the door, turning to the mirror above the sink and counter to makes sure he’s actually seeing what he is seeing correctly, Yuuri puts on his glasses.

 

He was right, he had lost a lot of weight, and looked a shadow of his former self. Where there used to be a flat toned stomach with some muscles was now nothing but skin and ribs. Where there was once curvaceous hips and thighs, there was now painful looking jutting bones and damn near twig looking limbs. A cold shudder runs down the omegas spine at his appearance, he turns away from the mirror and walks back into his bedroom.       

 

Grabbing a bottle off his dresser on his way to his bed, Yuuri cracks it open, taking a swig; and flops down on the bed once again. Taking the bottle to the head, Yuuri begins to sob again. Blindly searching with his hand on the bed behind him, Yuuri finally finds what he was looking for. The picture once again in his hands, Yuuri stares at it and takes another big gulp.

 

Laying down with the bottle and picture in hand, Yuuri takes another drink and cries. Shoulders shaking, Yuuri can’t keep a firm hold on the bottle. Setting the bottle aside as he cries his heart out. Yuuri does the one thing that he hadn’t done in years as he holds onto his picture of his lost love, Yuuri prays.

 

“P-please, I-I don’t ask for much. Please l-let me see m-my Vitya again, that’s all I ask. P-please?” But Yuuri’s broken sob of a prayer falls on deaf ears. Grabbing up the bottle again in his sorrow and fury, he drinks the rest of the bottle down over the next few minutes until it was all gone.

 

Yuuri tries to push himself up to get another bottle, only to feel dizzy and more than a little sick. Dressed only in his towel still, Yuuri’s skin has cooled considerably, but he doesn’t seem to care. He didn’t care anymore about anything. He just wanted his Vitya again.

 

The sickness Yuuri is feeling only gets worse. He didn’t know what was happening to his body. Quickly as possible, Yuuri turns his head and vomits over the side of the bed onto the floor. He winces as the pain of vomiting causes him to start coughing, the coughing causing Yuuri to gasp for air. Flopping onto his back, Yuuri clutches his chest as he tries his best to catch his breath. Sobbing in pain only seemed to make things worse for the omega.

 

Turning on his side, Yuuri curls into a ball and sobs in his pain and suffering. He didn’t ask for this, all he wanted was to see his Vitya again. Closing his eyes to try and block out the pain, Yuuri feels his limps start to shake and seize. He clutches the photo to his chest tighter as his arms begins to hurt. He could feel his consciousness slipping fast, black dots swimming in his vision whenever he opened his eyes. Just before his consciousness faded Yuuri could have sworn he’d seen the silver haired man standing over him, smiling down on him. Smiling back at the only man he’d ever loved, he felt warm as he finally closed his eyes.


	4. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The funeral of Yuuri Katsuki- Nikiforov

Both Phichit and Chris had been worried about Yuuri more and more lately. They both knew the anniversary of Viktor’s death was going to have a heavy impact on Yuuri, so they decided to both go over to spend time with the distraught omega after Phichit got back in the city. Phichit picked up some pizza, calzones, and garlic knots from the pizza shop down the street from the omegas house.

 

Chris was already waiting in his car outside the house when Phichit pulls up. Wanting to surprise Yuuri a bit and to show him he didn’t have to be alone on this day of sorrow, he had waiting for the Thai beta to show up before going in. Chris opens the door to a disaster zone.

 

The living room looks like it hadn’t been cleaned in months. There were dust bunnies everywhere, empty bottles were scattered on the floor, entertainment center and end tables. Looking around and making sure they didn’t step on anything that looked disgusting on the floor, as the picked their way through the mess.

 

Phichit goes to the kitchen to drop off the food and sodas on the counter, while Chris calls out for Yuuri and picks his way through the mess that lead to the bedroom as well. “PHICHIT!” Came the yell from the master bedroom.

 

Phichit is automatically put on alert by the shrill cry from the alpha. Dashing down the hall, Phichit prays that Yuuri was ok. Hoping against hope that the omega didn’t decide to finally follow his beloved mate.

 

Phichit is stopped at the door of the bedroom by the sight he comes across beyond the door. Chris has Yuuri on his back, pinching his nose, breathing air into Yuuri’s lungs and pulling back to do chest compressions. On wobbly legs, Phichit staggers over to his best friend.

 

The beta reaches out to Yuuri as he rounds the bed. Phichit doesn’t pay the pool of vomit any mind as he touches his friend’s cheek in disbelief. Yuuri was cool to the touch, this finally broke the man out of his trace like state. Pulling on Chris’s shoulder who was still trying to work on the sickly-looking omega.

 

Chris bats Phichit’s hand away with a growl and goes back to working on Yuuri between broken sobs. “C-Chris…Chris. Please.” Phichit grabs onto the alphas shoulder harder and manages to stop the man. “P-please stop already…” Phichit looks the alpha in the eyes, both have tears rolling down their faces. “Stop, we can’t do anything for him anymore. He’s…gone…”

 

The truth hits both and stuns them into silence. It takes a few minutes for Phichit to pull out his phone and call emergency services. Phichit grabs onto Chris once again and leads the man out of the room and back into the living room to wait for the police and paramedics.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri’s family flies in from Japan, they wanted to take his body back with them, so he could be buried by tradition. However, the beta and alpha were having no part of that. They fought for Yuuri to be buried under the willow tree beside Viktor.

 

“Yuuri was the greatest friend a person could ever ask for. He was loving, caring, and always there when you needed him the most. As you all may know, Yuuri was deeply depressed after the passing of his mate and husband Viktor. The death of his mate hit him really hard and he then resorted to drinking just like Viktor did. The rumors that people had spread about the passing of Viktor and the circumstances behind it, hit him especially hard considering it was coming from people who he trusted and considered as friends as well. Yuuri lived in a bottle for the last five years, and it finally caught up to him. All of this lead us to today. Yuuri tried to drink his pain away…his pain is finally gone now. Let us honor both his and Viktor’s memory.”

 

As Phichit gave his speech he had a hand on top of Yuuri’s coffin the entire time, he had wanted to convey how everything really happened, not just what everyone had heard. Looking out into the sea of black clad mourners that had gathered for the funeral, Phichit could see that there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. The Katsuki family sat in the front row, sobbing, Yuuri’s mother Hiroko held the memorial picture of Yuuri in her hands as she was held by her daughter; Yuuri’s older sister Mari, on one side and her husband Toshiya on the other.

 

On the other side of the aisle was Chris and his heavily pregnant mate Lucas, holding each other for comfort. Minako was sitting a seat down, the seat next to her was his own. Phichit nods his head at the mourners as he wipes the tears from his eyes with the heel of his hand and walks back to his seat, allowing the preacher to take his place once again to say his final words.

 

*

 

Chris and Phichit were the two front pallbearers, the other men were mourners. Hiroko leads the way out of the chapel to the hearse and to the grave site. At the grave site there were more tears to be shed, and everyone’s last goodbyes to Yuuri and some to Viktor as well.

 

“This really is a beautiful grave site. I can see why you and Chris fought so hard with my parents to bury Yuuri here with him.”

 

Phichit is startled by the voice so suddenly speaking next to him. Glancing to the side he is meet with Yuuri’s older sister Mari. The alpha woman dressed in a black suit and shoes. Looking back to the willow tree, Phichit nods his head at the woman in agreeance. “Yes, Yuuri picked it himself with Viktor in mind after his death. Everything was so rushed back then, we were lucky to have found this plot on such short notice.”

 

“Yuuri always did love hanging branches on trees. He said it was like a curtain from the outside world when he stood under a tree like this.” Mari pauses for a few seconds, she sighs and looks up to the sky, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes at any moment. “I’m glad, you know.”

 

Turning to the woman in confusion, Phichit cocks his head to the side. “Glad about what? What’s there to be glad about?” His brows furrow, in a combination of growing anger and confusion.  

 

Mari turns her head to the beta, and considers him for a long moment. “I’m glad that his pain and suffering has ended and he’s finally with his beloved Vitya again.”

 

Phichit’s face softens at the woman’s words, he hadn’t been expecting that answer from her at all. “Yuuri didn’t really talk to mom and dad about Viktor’s death, but he talked to me whenever he was sober enough to answer my skype calls. He was in a bad place, I’m just glad it’s finally over for him. Maybe he can finally have some peace. Maybe they’re together again. Well…” Mari turns her face away from the beta to try and hide the fact that she had lost the battle against her tears. “That’s what I try to tell myself anyways.” Mari turns away from Phichit and walks over to her parents who are talking to Chris and Lucas, leaving the Thai man to his own thoughts.     

 

“I wanted to ask your permission on something.” Chris was saying once Mari had walked up on the group.

 

Hiroko and Toshiya consider the alpha and the omega standing in front of them. “Yes, dear what is it?” Hiroko asks before her husband could open his mouth.

 

Chris looks to his mate, and Lucas picks up where his mate couldn’t form the words that were right on the tip of his tongue. “Well,” Lucas looks at the older couple. “We recently found out we were having twins, boys actually.” Looking to Chris for just a bit of courage, Chris takes his hand and gives it a little squeeze. Taking a breath, the omega spits it out. “We were wondering with everything that has happened, would you be too opposed to us naming our twins after Yuuri and Viktor? We want to honor them as best we can, and this was the only way we could think of.”

 

The shy omega waits for the inevitable negative response, only to be meet with tears. All three of the Japanese omegas family members have tears in their eyes, but it is Hiroko who surges forward and takes Lucas into her arms. “Oh of course you can! We would be honored if you named your children after them. I’m sure they would have loved it as well. Please, please honor them this way. There is no better way to honor them, other than by keeping their memory alive in the next generation. Thank you, thank you so much.”

 

Reaching out Hiroko grabs Chris and brings him into the bear hug as well. Toshiya comes up next to his wife and joins the hug. The young couple hadn’t expected such an ecstatic response and blessing for naming their children after their friends, but they were more than happy to accept their blessings and hugs.

 

Phichit looks onto the scene from a short distance away, his eyes welling up with tears as well. From the corner of his eyes, he sees movement from under the willow tree. Turning his head to look at what caught his attention. Just under the hanging branches stood Yuuri dressed in a white suit and shoes, Viktor standing next to him dressed the same with his arm slung around his mate’s shoulder both looking at the scene in front of them with huge smiles on their faces. The couple looking good together once again. Phichit blinks multiple times, rubbing his eyes he looks back towards the tree. They were gone, just like that. Phichit grabs his head, and shakes it, trying to clear it and make some sense of what he thought he just saw.

 

Phichit sighs to himself and shaking his head. “I think I need a drink.” He stops himself with that thought. He looks back at the tree with tears in his eyes once again, rethinking what he just said. “On second thought, I think I’ll just have a soda.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo....How much do you guys hate me? Did you cry? I hope so...cuz then I did a good job lol. However, if you didn't...what's wrong with you, you heartless person?! lol jk.
> 
> During the whole time of me writing this i was like, "Why am I doing this to them? Why am I so heartless and making them suffer like this?" And then the answer hit me... Cuz I am evil. Muahahahahaa
> 
> See you guys on Thursday with an update of World Turned Upside Down!
> 
> Love y'all!! Muahz

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooo....this is unbeta'd. I tried to get my friend to beta it for me....she noped out on once she saw the title cuz she knew the song. Lmao, so if there are any mistakes they are mine and I wasn't paying attention. So just point it out to me. XD


End file.
